If you’ve ever left therapy feeling worse instead of better, you’re not alone—and you’re not broken.

One of the most common stories I hear as a therapist goes something like this:

“I tried therapy. It didn’t really help. I guess it’s just not for me.”

But here’s the thing most people are never told:

Therapy doesn’t fail because clients fail.

It fails because the fit is wrong.

When therapy feels stuck…

When a client says “I want anal sex, but it hurts every time”, I’m really investigating pain + desire + meaning, not just mechanics. Think biopsychosocial… with lube 😌

Why are insight and therapy not creating change in my life?

Starting therapy can feel a little like walking into a room where everyone else seems to know the rules—except you. CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) is one of the most researched and commonly used therapy approaches, but that doesn’t mean clients automatically know what it actually looks like week to week.